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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Aion's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, May 24th, 2018
11:55 pm

Aion 131 5/23/18

We call her name and-
She is there before me.
Not like other visions, misty or slow to emerge- she is just
Clear, every detail clear.
Emanating a light yet extremely dark power
She is wrapped in a flowing gauzy robe
It drifts and move like thin cerements in the breeze
Her body and arms are swaddled in bone white
The same cloth forms a headdress, like a burnouse
And it also forms a veil
Only her eyes, nose and hands and feet are bare,
and I see she is ebony black, dark as night
As are her eyes
Within and upon her form is an equal armed cross of vibrant glowing white
Her ivory wings are outstretched behind her and the pinfeathers are tipped in black that streaks part of the way down each one
She is still as stone, but a feeling of sultry air arises about us from the earth
Shown in the drifting of her gauzy wrappings
I honor her! Oh Angel of Tau! Angel of Saturn!
Black Isis, Veiled Isis, Mother of the secrets of the Earth!
Teach me your mysteries!
She does not speak at all- but-
She points down and the earth parts below her
A crevice opens
She does not fall
But I am drawn down down
Deep into the interior of the black earth
In complete darkness
The silent darkness of the grave
All is still
I fall
Into a cavern
And I land upon something stone
And there are ancient ruins in this dimly-lit cave
Stalagmites above me
The faint redish light comes from nowhere and everywhere
There is the hint of internal fire glow- it is warm
A see that I am sitting upon a wide, ancient and blackened throne
It is worn but has Greek-style carvings
I suddenly KNOW it is the Throne of Hades
I have taken this place.
About the cavern are piles of old dusty items, weapons, vessels and more
Before me is a smaller stone form, I realize it is an altar
It too has vague pillar form carvings on it and is grey-black, ancient, blasted
I know what I must do, but I feel stubborn, resisting-
I do not want to let go
All is now focusing on a glowing equal armed white cross
In my mind I feel her will: LEAVE IT ALL!
I find myself suddenly ripping ancient, pitted, bloody armor off my body
Offering/throwing it onto the altar
Honoring the most ancient chthonian Goddess of the deep earth
As I finish I see all the components of what-who I am
Fly apart as mosaic pieces
I have to adjust them, I am unbalanced
I am unfocused; my inner parts are not in sync
A process of shifting and clicking, all components floating in space,
fitting together in a new way
The puzzle loses useless or broken pieces and slowing comes together
I am more balanced
I am balancing - the cross-Tau
I am more in equilibrium
But I know I am a puzzle-work-in-progress
I slump onto the now darkened throne and utterly
I become a large seed
And Feel the power of the angel reach down
And her pull- her draw gets stronger
And I crack open, becoming a writing seedling
And my roots burrow below the throne to the heart of Earth
And my stalk, thrusts upward through the darkness
And she PULLS me up and up and UP
And I emerge from the Earth as a sapling
And quickly grow to become a full tree
My braches encompass the universe
I am the Tree of Life!
Every now-leafy branch is tipped with a planet, a Sepheroth
I expand UP and cross the veil and then
Upon my brow glows the crescent moon of Yesod.
The TAU Angel embraces the tree that is I
With a slight smile
And all dissolves into darkness
Monday, May 7th, 2018
9:23 pm
THE SUN re 231


“We are star stuff harvesting sunlight.”
Carl Sagan

And there is a brilliance in the firmament
The sun shines, so very bright
And the truth emerges- it is an EYE
Of eight rayed splendor
fire-vortex pupil spiraling out- and now
Amber tears fall from it
A million arms of golden light descend
Reach out
Grab my spirit and wrench it from my body
Pulling it into the atomic inferno at the heart of the Sun
And I am bathed and all that is darkness is burned away
And all that is known is forgotten
I am one with the spirit of the sun
I breathe the atomic maelstrom of fusion
My being is consumed but reformed of red fire
Arising from the alchemical bath at the heart of the sun
Glowing red
I am filled with power and vibrant brilliant energy
I see now the solar orb above
Beaming joy and bliss upon all beings
Two children emerge from the glittering haze
For she is a moon child and he is the sun child
And they play upon the Earth
And this is the play of every electron and nucleus
This is the play of fusion and fission
This is the play of the cosmos, of dark and light matter
And it is every cell alit within our beings, within all that lives upon the earth
For we are all nothing but solar energy
Every element, every particle of us is from the sun
And as we play, it plays, the cosmos plays
And all dances about the Sun
And so we are blessed
Lux et Sol Fiat!
Monday, April 2nd, 2018
7:14 pm


There is the darkness of space
In the center of all is Hoor paar Krat, the Child
He is translucent, like glass or water
He is crouched down, sitting with one knee up
His finger is to his lips in the sign of silence
For in silence is this working done
We are manifesting The Child in the Group unconscious mind
We are doing the real work of the children
in the darkness
As the force and fire of the Horus child rages about the Word
We together birth the Child Horus of Silence and Strength- of Truth.
About This Child is the universe of endless stars
and they also are somehow all within him.
The whole cosmos is within This Child - all the children are of This Child!
This Child is neither male nor female, but gynander-androgyne
N’Aton in utero.
And then I see This Child is the jewel in the center of the lotus
And the Lotus is a spinning galaxy
The Milky Way
And now allthe rite is centered within This Child
And CLEARLY the HML symbol appears within This Child’s
It is his/her heart
It is of vibrant colors- red and black- shining.
And This Child holds it within him
One hand above, one hand below

And this is our work
This is the Way of it.

New Moon HML Circle
March 2018
Friday, March 23rd, 2018
10:47 pm

A wave, a wave of white, a wave of incandescent white

Like the undulation of a snake, like the serpentine flight of a dragon

I am washed away, I am the sea foam

Dambala Wedo come!

We sing the songs and make the offerings!



And they come!

Two glowing, incandescent white-beyond-white serpents

Like electric cables, hissing and writhing

Like lightning bolts in serpentine form

Like solidified undulating snakes of glowing star-filled rain

Fill me and I am



My body keeps dancing

But the hiss and electricity fill me

And the serpents and glowing icy hot electric frision

On either side of me

IN both sides - within me

And! How can this be?!

Upon my head they ride

Two small entwined serpents glowing


Like a star!

And they entwine abou a pillar, a tree

And I ...I am the tree!

(But they are atop my crown! Upon my Head)

And the serpents entwine within and about my core,

Spirals about my heart

(But! They dance atop my head!)

And the chants and the dance goes on and on ...

like echoes of a dream

And It is not I who dance, it is the serpents

who are my hands and feet

Sliding across the earth, around the axis of all

It is not ‘I’ who see the interior world

But it is seen

For Damabala now faces me

His white serpent head the size of my head

His Eyes bore into mine

His flickering tongue

Touches my forehead

And One hears and feels and understands the whispering

Yet I am blind, deaf and dumb

For ‘I’ am not part of this communion

But I understand: ‘What is it you want?’

And I reply; ‘Take my anger, it is poisoning me’

And like that


Like an old tooth

Or a hair atop my head

It is plucked-


...and I have not sunk completely into the electric milky ocean

Not yet

Only part way- this time-

The coils wrap about me

But I am not subsumed

I am held and empowered

And full of electricity

And the dance ends

As they leave me...gently

Ah ! Blanc Dani Dani Dani!

Ah! Dambala Wedo

I am energized and exhausted and I know

I know now that my shrine is full

That I have work to do

And offerings to make.

And that without this burning anger, this poison

That tastes so delicious

I must face the sadness and pain and depression

Without a sword


This is the way of it.

And if I do not survive the darkness

Then I embrace the white

And will pass on without the red poison

So Peace will be found

One way or the Other.

Ashe Dambala

Thanks to He who Sits upon my Crown.

The rain of Light



Tuesday, December 26th, 2017
5:43 pm

The Egg

I see the Egg of Light, Phanes, the bornless seed of illumination.

And I know that it is me, my life, but that which is far beyond THAT.

This egg embodies the limitations that I have self created by the Mayic dance that is all I do.

At this, the time of Saturn - This then at the rebirth of the sun was the vision given to me about the Egg of life- I do not claim revelation truth, just that it was revelatory for me. Here then is the vision:

I was born and for the first part of my life I became who I thought I was, who my parents and environment thought of me. I was what egoic and experiential conjuring I could conceive of and the experiences I managed to amass and make sense of both internally and externally became who I believed I was and the life I believed I had.

Then came my first Saturn Return- the conceptual and experiential egg I had been crafting and gestating in was shattered completely- I cracked through the shell, leaving it in pieces and realized that all I had thought true and real was in fact crafted of of my own creation and, in face, that there was no ‘I’ to create such a thing nor was anything I thought fast and true really solid and real, all was indeed illusion.

So, after this utter awakening and hatching I began to weave a new a new reality, conscious that I was free but now creating yet a new, better, ‘higher’ Egg, one I though grander, more authentic and more True. I expanded my world, wrapt it about others: loved ones, mates, child, travel, career. I had settled into and ‘created’ what i believed was a real life, one of expansion and growing knowledge and practice, both within and without. My self definition changed, began to include professional, father, husband, adept, writer, homeowner and Man. Many more masks did I experience and grow and these were also unconsciously woven into my new egg, but, again, I was unaware that I was creating a new shell. I believed I was striving towards growth and accomplishment and freedom. A REAL life! I had hit my stride, I was a ruler of my domain!

Then my second Saturn Return arrived-

the conceptual and experiential egg I had been crafting and gestating in and wholly believing in was utterly shattered. I cracked through the remaining broken shell and realized that all I had thought true and real was in fact of my own creation and perception and also my grand delusion of Who I Was. In fact, I woke to the TRUTH of Maya, not the idea, and understood that there is no ‘I’ to create such a thing nor was there such a thing as the egg to begin with!

The egg was what I believed was my life, what I believed I should do to confirm my place in the World, the ‘Kingdom.’ Yet it was merely a dream, and not even wholly my dream.

And so Saturn destroyed my illusionary life. I lost my kingdom, my world, everyTHING I believed was part of me- but in fact it was never ‘mine’ nor is anything ever.

So, now I begin the journey towards my next Saturn Return.

Now I carefully begin the crafting of the third egg- but this time I am a bit wiser.

I know there is no ‘I’, I know that the illusion of the world, my works, my life and the people I think are in it are part of the illusion and Maya of what I perceive, not what IS.

I know that the truth is that I need not craft this egg at all, or if I do (and I can’t seem to help myself) at the least I can create it in such a way that it has a door to it that I may  use to step out of the egg at will and embrace the eternal Void that is my solace, my Truth and my True Love.

I know that if what I do and see and interact with is not of Love, then I must leave it out of my crafting Others I interact with , the things I cherish, my space and the living earth about me exists in this new phase of my life to love and to give me love in return.

And I know this: When I begin to trust and believe in and treat as real my Consensual Reality Paradigme, my egg, than I must take a time out to leave it. In this way I remember that this body-life-ego-psyche-Spirit is merely a vehicle, not a goal.

As I look forward to the third and likely final Saturn Return that I may or may not reach, I know that this final stage of ’my’ life is one littered with eggshell pieces and that each fragment has taught me something and helped me create the Nest that is the life I have lived, though I know now it is not ‘mine.’

When ‘I’ am gone in the not too distant future, I will have left this old Nest and my writings and art will become pieces of others eggs or will simply pass into the great dance of Maya, the dance of the Goddess, and so inform the Play. There is only one thing I have generated throughout this process that is not constrained by the eggs I have crafted, only one thing that can pass through all shells and which I will leave behind growing within all I know, teach and effect- that is Love.

There is nothing else of worth I have to impart to this world and those who inhabit it. Whether it is by word or deed or physical embrace or spiritual prayer or by any mode of transference, the open exchange of Love is what the whole process of egg creation and extension and destruction is all about.We exist as glowing seeds of Love, this I do know. And so, on it goes and I still have much ‘work’ to do, but my vision is a bit clearer.

And a final vision was granted to me as I saw and understood all of this. Call it a Thelemic postscript if you like:

The first egg we create and shatter before our first Saturn return embodies the HERMIT

The second egg we create and shatter before our second Saturn return embodies the LOVERS

The last egg we create and shatter before our third Saturn return (if we are so lucky!)  embodies the MAN OF EARTH

These I saw as The Hermit atu, The Lovers atu and the Hierophant atu = 10+7+6= 23

And this is all I saw and know of this teaching. Guru Hum.

Aion 131

December 25, 2017

Wednesday, August 16th, 2017
9:40 pm


Letting go
Moving on
Unfolding, letting your petals
So hard
So easy
Embrace Samsara.
The foolish wise man says: Nirvana is Samsara
The wise foolish man say, no no, neti neti;
In fact it is Samsara that is Nirvana
Look. One blink and- you are beyond. Trust me.
It is a simple shift of perception, direction, indication
The perceived hell that swirls about us- sadness, anger, hate, delusion, work, ennui, exhaustion, the drag drag DRAG of the material world
Is the gentle blanket that enfolds you and comforts you and embraces you
So that when you finally
BREATHE in out in out
And open to the infinite stars and space of the universe then then then
You will KNOW
There is nothing to fear
Nothing to wait for
Nothing to be sorry about or guilty about or wistful about or jealous about
Nothing to buy or sell or own or lack
Because as you die
You are reborn
You are every molecule of water in the pond
And all the life and death that cycles through it, and through the deep dark earth
And through the woods and sky and stars and the infinite
Cosmos that YOU are.
It doesn't make sense
It can not be explained or rationalized
Miracles of being simply are
Let go
So very very hard.
Close to impossible.
So easy
In silence I embrace Samsara
I embrace my life, all my scars and losses and pain and suffering and horror
I laugh for the sweetness of every moment of life
All will be reflected in the aeons of nonexistence that came before my birth
And will follow after my death; and none of it matters
Samsara: You are my Guru
You teach me all things
From you I emerged
You will devour me someday
So I am of you and you me
And we are all
Monday, July 3rd, 2017
9:56 pm
Letting Getting Go

Letting Getting Go- Went- Gone - …

A year of Hel comes to an end, the sun is beginning to break through
The fog, gloom, the storms and ash fall from eruption
Settling, calming,
Scarred, tattered, damaged, wounded, beyond tears-
I am still alive
Yet broken.
The Lesson I am told….again and again…:
Just…let….go…of IT
And others can see the need for this in the wrinkles, the scars and the smashan in my eyes
to LET GO.
This mantra fills me with dread, incomprehension and confusion
Such a simple, trite phrase revealing the core truth Truth
But it comes with no operation manual
No instructions on crossing the wasteland
There are no assembly directions or clear guidelines.
Do I let go of parts of the horror bit by bit?
This doesn't seem to work, the next day, like moss or mold, there is more there
It grows back
Like clearing a fiend that is covered with weeds again the next day.
Should I get aggressive?
Surgically cut my heart out?
Rip ALL the pain off like a band aid?
Burn it away in a pyric fire of emotional angst and anger?
The bleeding doesn't stop, the ashes are bitter, the flames never seem to die and I am left with burns and slashes for my efforts.
As I try to pull what’s left of my heart
From the smoldering resentments and anger and medical waste burning about me
How torn and bloodied and vivisected and dismembered and barely alive can love get
Before you have to LET GO?
And what of a love that is a deep rooted oak, not a sapling? One built of caring and caregiving and accepting illness and trials and full of responsibility embraced
with pains and joy?
When does the Illness trump the Star within it? When do you turn away?
I can’t – I have been thrown into the abyss because I can Let Go
But I am too stubborn to do so, my roots too intertwined.
I had a chance to leap, to sail away - but I didn’t- I couldn't.
It is no one’s fault but my own.
And so I was torn, screaming, crying, furious and uncomprehending and blind and stupid
Thrown into the abyss, into hell, into the whirling blades of Chaos.
And I was torn to pieces and vilified and spat upon and dumped in a pit to die.
But I didn't. Not quite. Not completely. I am stubborn.
And now the sky begins to clear
I drag myself from the lowest pit
Slowly, painfully, with help from those who love me more than I love myself.
I have embraced every demon
Every fault, every horrible fact about my life.
I have embraced my monster- I have had my heart ripped out
And it has been balanced against the Feather of Maat
And the Sword Feather of Maat has cut and cut and cut away at my heart
Until it balanced…and I am released.
Thinner, stronger, freer, sadder, I have clawed myself out of the grave prepared for me
By one I have truly deeply loved, who hated, reviled and wished me dead.
I almost lay in that quiet, comfortable, peaceful grave
But I still have work to do, responsibilities, those who love me
Now I lie panting, on the grave’s edge in the blasted rubble of my life.
I can barely move. But the sun peeks through the dark dissipating clouds
The blasted trees and burnt landscape begins to green
and I sense a life returning to my world.
Have I let go?
LET means to allow, GO means to move elsewhere- I have cracked opened the door
But I am still grasping the brambles, the cutting knife-like lies and the deep stab
of utter, complete betrayal
Because the demon Hope is the worst of them all
I hope that within this bloody, horrible mess, there is a spark of the love that was
Though I know this is not true.
So I still strive for this mantra’s truth: to Let Go.
From the wind I hear: there is a better mantra: RELEASE IT
RE again LEASE from LAXUS meaning relaxed or loose.
So maybe I can’t ever let go- but I can be able to Relax again,
to loosen the knots in my mind, heart and stomach.
Re-leasing the horror, slowly, carefully
Loosening this ordeal, pain by pain, wound by wound
Yes- this I can do.
For now I will sit here in the rubble
Letting the world come back into color
Letting the ashes and seared landscape grow green again
Open enough to accept the help and love of others
Beginning the process of re-lease self-hate, self destructive, self immolating drives
And find the calm spark of joy
Of being alive.


July3, 2017
Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017
1:37 pm

Gardening Gaia

Disconnected, rejected, infected, neglected, worn like a an ancient bone
I come home
When my hands dig into the earth and I feel the flow
The green fills me and with every breath
The clouds of grey stresshateangersickness flow into her
And she composts my pain and the plants transmute my anger
And the green fills me with wonder and healing as the seeds spill from my fingers
Into her loving dark yoni and the pulse of the earth warms them
From the secret fires within the core of her heart
And smiling Helios reaches down from the blue infinite
A million golden arms and loving hands caressing her tree-covered voluptuousness
And the seeds awaken to life and I and the land awaken to life and are woven together
The earth embraces my roots as they descend and my feet dig into the mud
And my breath feeds the green and the green feeds my lungs
And the flesh is of my flesh and the blood is of my blood
And time drifts within the green and the music of rustling leaves and bird songs
Tentative animal rustles and a hawk’s cry form a timeless symphony
And for a time I am without separation, I am of Her, the great Earth Mother
And I honor her for there is nothing I am or have
or eat or drink or embrace that is not of her
We are of the Mother Earth, we return to her when our feet and hands embrace the loam
There is no greater meditation than this, no greater ritual or theology or magick
To be of the Earth is to be part of the Flow
To be part of the Green is to be one with Life
In this way, we are one with the eternal way.

Beltane 2017
Friday, April 14th, 2017
8:16 pm
Jai Hanumanji!!!


Lord of the Primates!
Monkey King!
Great Beast Gorilla Warrior!
I Honor you, I love you!
May I become you!

Strong and Mighty One!
Muscular and Meditative One!
Wild Berserker and Gentle Lover!
Your heart is open to the world!
I Honor you, I love you!
May I become you!

Jai Hanumanji!
You defeat all foes with your Staff of Power
You always rescue the Goddess
And adore the God
And Balance Both within your very being!
I Honor you, I love you!
May I become you!

I Climb the Tree of Life as You
I leap and cavort and howl as You
May I become you
And so take my place upon the Monkey Throne!
May I become you
And so be strong, full of might and indestructible!
May I become you
And be so the great Healer, the Devout One,
The Kind God Loving All!
Joining within
The God and Goddess
Who are ever and always my Heart
May I sit upon
The vine caressed flower-covered Lapis Throne
Tail curled back over shoulder
Strong and furry
Chanting loudly
Scepter-wand-club of power held forth!
I offer the Mudra of Blessing to All Living Beings
Especially to the Wild Ones! OM!
I Honor you, I love you!
May I become you!
And so embrace and empower the world
with love, power and play!
Jai Hanumanji!
Jai Hanumanji!
Jai Hanumanji!
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017
2:43 pm


Within the Circle of Mother Earth

A Star gestates

Embraced and wrapped about

With the dreams of Magi, Nebulas, Fractals

and Alchemical Amniotic Amrita

The Earth awakens

Unfolds as a blue and green lotus

And, in blooming, gives exquisite birth

To this Star.

And I awaken from this dream

Filled with lightning and laughter and lotus perfume

I, that Star ablaze in pure space

Pure consciousness

Dancing in spirals, bonded within the vast infinite cosmic weave;

linked in the dance and Pattern with all other stars.

We are One Cosmos, spiraling, joyfully moving;

Illuminating All

And I awaken from this dream

Into my consciousness as a human being

Who is dreaming as a star

Imagining life as a human being-

And I awaken into the Open Mind,

For there is no difference, and all is ONE.

Honor unto the Unity of Stars

Honor unto the Unity of Human Consciousness

Honor unto the Unity of Starfire and Flesh

With the stellar embrace of Gaia

And the Gaic embrace of the Star:

The Jewel in the Lotus.

-131-Spring Equinox 2017, at Earthstar

2:38 pm


Within the Circle of Mother Earth

Star gestates

Embraced and wrapped about

With the dreams of Magi, Nebulas, Fractals

and Alchemical Amniotic Amrita

The Earth awakens

Unfolds as a blue and green lotus

And, in blooming, gives exquisite birth

To Star.

And we awaken from this dream

Filled with lightning and laughter and lotus perfume

We, that Star ablaze in pure space

Pure consciousness

Dancing in spirals, bonded within the vast infinite cosmic weave;

linked in the dance and Pattern with all other stars.

We are One Cosmos, spiraling, joyfully moving;

Illuminating All

And we awaken from this dream

Into consciousness as a human beings

Who are dreaming as Star

Imagining, dreaming, life as human beings-

And we awaken into the Open Mind,

For there is no difference, and all is ONE.

Honor unto the Unity of Stars

Honor unto the Unity of Human Consciousness

Honor unto the Unity of Starfire and Flesh

With the stellar embrace of Gaia

And the Gaic embrace of the Star:

The Jewel in the Lotus.

-131-Spring Equinox 2017, at Earthstar

Wednesday, March 15th, 2017
4:05 pm


At the embrace of pure love I dissolve into stars and space

For there is nothing but Love

Not a phrase, not a philosophy, not an invocation, prayer or wish

A fact

God/Goddess  is Love

All is Love;

Nothing separates any one thing from any other thing

And words- thoughts- they separate everything-

And from the perception of separation comes all pain

For all is perfect and as such is NoThing

Timeless, bodiless, without separate form or function

The embrace of Love is all encompassing

It is Eternal

It is omnipresent

It is everything

For the center is the circumference

The heart is the whole

Shiva IS Shakti

And I, I am LOVED




Because there is no difference between I and LOVE

There is no separation between I and ALL

And this is the joy, the laughter, the Joke of Pan

Pan is not ALL

There is ONLY ALL

And it PLAYS

There is ONLY Play

And it is Love

And its manifestation is Joy

And the two are one are none

For existence being pure joy, is Love

And this can not be spoken of, nor written, nor even experienced

It is REMEMBERED and it IS when you ARE

Every moment is all moments,

all times, all space and all perceptions are One

This is not a riddle, it IS

And there is no ‘it’ for there IS only Love

Ecstatic Laughter and

Tears of gratitude I offer

For this embrace!

Now I put on the old robe

This familiar ‘I’


There is that which remains;


I am loved



I am Love


And there is no dread, no fear, no guilt, here or hereafter

And in the embrace of love I will discard this robe
As I have done many times before

Without a second thought

And remember and be


And until that time

I will try to stay awake and aware and remember in this dream

That I am - YOU are- ALL is : LOVE

And to be open to letting all the barriers drop

And the words fade

And the thoughts cease

And simply emanate / give / receive / foster/ nurture / BE;  Love








So may it be..

- A star some call Aion131

Saturday, March 11th, 2017
9:45 am


Tua Tahuti!
Hail and honor and offerings to the Creator of the Word!
The God of Speech and of Thought
He who opens the Paths of Knowing
You arise from the desert sands
Amidst the rays of the rising sun
Veiled in blue sky and orange nimbus of power
O Tahuti!
With the Ostrich Plume stylus of Maat
You scribe the Glyph of Life Upon your palm
With the luminous blood of Ra
Holding it forth it bursts into flame
As the sun disc rises piercing all with its rays
The flaming sigil arises as a Bennu
Great Ibis Headed Lord!
Stretch forth your hand in blessing
Loose forth the might Bennu Bird of holy knowledge!
Oh shining Bennu alight upon my head!
Oh mighty Bennu, fill my mind, heart and body
With the Word of Life
That I may in turn scribe this Word
Speak this Word
Live this Word!
Oh mind filled with Tahuti, flame forth!
Transmitting wisdom and power and the words thereof
The knowledge flows through me
Like the Eternal River of sunlight
The flame of Gnosis spreads
Like sunlight over the waters
So, I become the Bennu Bird
Your Word, your wisdom, your Flame
Hail Phoenix of Rebirth!
Hail Lord of Maat!
Hail Heart of RA!
Tua Tahuti!

Tuesday, February 28th, 2017
1:50 pm


Torn soul, pierced aura, crushed heart, loss, despair; life
I offer this pain to the four winds
Like a dismembered corpse eaten by vultures in the tower of Self
I release the words I have been clutching so tightly in my hands
Finally, I can let go
Fly from my bleeding fingers
and they too are consumed utterly in the flame of my agony
The fire of pain is a holy fire, it is crucial to see this
It is not meaningless or pointless or capricious
Though it feels, seems and smells this way
Buddha told us, as did Jesus and Mohammed and Plato and Lao Tzu
And so many others
Life is of pain; pain of the body, of the heart, of the mind
Pain of cruelty, of loss, of injury
All of these boiling magma streams of pain unite in my center
I am full and consumed by pain
I sit upon the pyre of Shiva, an offering to Kali
As the flames of pain burn away my sense of arrogance, of certainty, of love
Of self, who is it who suffers?
This is the first gift of pain, to strip away complacency,
certainty, schema
I fail miserably at denying my pain.
My words and thoughts, unbidden
Circle the truth of pain like death head moths
I seek many roads of escape, none last long
I run in fear and horror down each one
Only to wind up at the Crossroads yet again- in pain
This will continue, I know, this futility
Until I turn and embrace my pain
Until I hug the monster utterly
I dissolve into it
I accept my pain, throwing denial into the fire with all belief
And acceptance, letting go,
throwing oneself like Sati into the flame willingly,
This is the second gift of pain; release, acceptance, transcendence.
My nerves are raw, screaming. My heart is in shatters,
betrayed, spit-upon, pierced by poison blade
My mind is mangled, worn out, tied in knots of suffering
And this does two things
It pushes me into a small red-hot bundle of self-centered pain anger spite
Then, with Will
It opens me to the pain of others.
I feel the pain of those around me, some in worse pain than I
For my Pain is a gateway, a bridge to others
To compassion and empathy
This then is the final gift of Pain; Wisdom, compassion, giving
Though these are the gifts of Pain
I can not yet appreciate them
For I am still being burned alive
The sword is now dismembering me
The blood flows from my physical wounds
and sleep flees from mental torments
The spiral of fear and pain and self loathing spirals down
Yet- As I lay under her dancing feet of agony
I can see the small smile of Kali Ma’s face
Looming above my prone form, reminding me;
This, too, as all things, shall pass.
Pain is not a thing or feeling
It is a reminder - to give love and accept love
There is only this.
Someday, I will understand this
But now, I simply accept and embrace my Pain
and accept it as my GURU
What choice have I?
It is fatal to ignore one’s Guru!

Jai Kali Ma

-Last prose to S 2/28/17
Saturday, February 25th, 2017
8:07 pm


All the Wild Beasts roam about
Seated amidst them
The primal Lord of the forest Speaks :

I am the Lord of the Dance!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of Fun!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of Form and Chaos!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of  Green Awakening!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of Predator and Prey!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of horns and claws!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the horned Lord, the Bellowing Bull!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of full moon wolves!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of monsters, spirits and ghosts!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of the Rising Fire!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of raging river and sea!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of mountain peak and cave!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of Storms that Howl!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of Ecstasy and Reality!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of blooming flowers!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of Sun, Moon and Star!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Lord of the Cosmos Spinning!
All Wild Beasts roam about me
I am the Light that shines in your Darkness!
All Wild Beasts roam about me!
When you call me,
The Wise Beasts come and roam
When you call me a second time,
The Wild Beasts come and devour you
When you call me a third time
You grow the fur and fangs,
horns and hooves
Paws and claws
Feathers, tails and scales!
For ever and always
You Wild Beasts roam about
For I am the Lord of your dance!


Written Imbolc/ finished Shivaratri 2017

Wednesday, February 1st, 2017
8:56 pm


In the beginning, the vibration
In the beginning, the spark indwelling
In the Beginning, the seed of pleroma is planted in every heart
Everywhere I go I hear the sound
Eastern circles, Western circles
Every circle-
The Guru brings Light From Dark
The Guru is the spark, the star; infinite, eternally small
Self born of self
Spark born of fire
I bow to the feat of the Guru
The inner Teacher, Center, Lynchpin
Amrita flowing, siddha, shaktipat
Gnosis in waves of bliss
Guru OM!
The universe and the Teacher are One
The Atman and the Guardian Angel are One
The Hadit-star, Kether, Brahma are ONE
And all are OM
From the four quarters I come
To the center I come
In the Heart of All I become the Heart
The Heart of Jesus, Buddha, IHVH, Allah, Gaia, Nuit, Shiva, Kali…
All is OM
OM IS the Guru
I look up into the Face of Guru
Of God
Of Anatta
The Vidya; There is no God but HuMan
That god is Guru
Guru is
It is said that one who daily chants OM
As a spiritual practice
Will achieve liberation
There is the key
In front of us
A quiet jewel
In the middle of each lotus
Shri Guru Om
Guru Om
Friday, January 27th, 2017
10:29 pm
New Moon Banishing of the Dark Regeime

New Moon Banishing

The cock has crowed
The sun rises in fiery glory.
Rays of power and scintillating light
pierce the dark clouds
Chasing the shadows away;
The sound of thunder, the flash of lightening
The pounding of the feet of Kali
The circle of blood drops flying from her hair
As she spirals and spins and laughs;
Send the Monsters flying!
Spin the swords in the morning light!
Banish the sorrow and fear and angst and regrets
Fill body.mind.spirit with strength to fight
Laugh and send the snarling shadows fleeing!
Unite and chase the evil from your self, city, country!
Slap your palms in the sacred way,
shout the mantras, chant the spells! Avert! Avert!
Do the Work of the Way, of the Wyrd,
The Work Witchcraft and the Wave of Resistance!
Enough with the hand wringing,
The clinging and covering
the crying and cowering;
The Evil Ones seized power,
the dark megalomaniacal dissolute atavisms
on twisted trunks of bloody thorns!
They emerged from the putrid darkness
They rise and rise,
watered with fear and anger
and racial memories of tribal wars unending.
Banish the lot!
Send the laser beams your magicks against the storm!
Lightening meets lightning,
typhoon slams tidal wave;
We call up with one voice!
Millions of marchers, chanters, dancers, workers
Glowing human beings, spirits, elementals and ancestors
All beings of the earth and sky, of the light,
of justice and freedom
The bones under our feet resist the coming evil!
They SHAKE They rise! They grind and groan –
not again, never again- these bastards must GO!
Out tout
Throughout and about
All good come in,
All evil stay OUT!
As the stars bathe us in the banishing light
The hum of our energies and egregores and circles of power
rise rise rise and banish the hate, the fear,
inside our body, our mind, our spirit
We are beyond all these!
We call forth the power of Truth and Justice
The ebony glittering Goddess of Balance
She known by countless names and faces,
O Themis, Maat, Kali, and all goddesses of TRUTH
Banish banish banish that which restricts us!
The illusions that entrap and bewilder us!
The helplessness and hopelessness
that is the greatest curse of the Evil Ones!
We are one with you!
We are far from powerless!
We laugh and love and rock our world with TRUTH power
and out fall the worms and rot and detritus of the Old Aeon
Withered scared old white men,
blowhard clowns of sharp teeth and bloody hands,
the haters, the small people, the sharp jagged lost souls
The sad ones seeking something knowing not what
Fill them all with Light!
Let the shadows flee howling!
The scared, the deluded,
the sad and lonely and misinformed
We all bathe in the light of the great enveloping flame of Truth!
We all bathe in the blood of the Dark Moon Mother
May all illusions fly from us!
We bathe in the love of The Lady of Balance and Compassion
Filled with Love, all shadows flee!
We shall not win in the future,
We have won NOW
For we are Truth and TRUTH prevails!
This is the rune, the spell, the magick!:
A whirlwind of banishing
and love and will and truth
now spins outward
From every awake and aware soul!
All evils and bigotries and restrictions
and horror and cruelty
dissolve in the rays
flying from our solar selves
Our black moon selves
Our formless fire of spirit selves!
Nigrae lunam Invictus!
Sol Invictus!

-Nu Moon 1/2017- under the evil shadow of a new regime
Monday, January 23rd, 2017
10:49 pm

Invocation of HHVY- Hamaliel

From the primal darkness
Emerges a shining hand extending outward
And in the palm of the open hand is a flame of greenish-yellow
The imposing figure is cloaked in shadows endless
Enwrapped in the billowing darkness
His hands and semi-shaded face formed of blinding white light
So no feature of this powerful angel
may be seen or experienced directly
The angel’s right hand extends from the darkness
Holding a single shaft of wheat,
golden, ripe, glowing with the sacred light
There is a sibilant whisper;
‘This flame is your Will revealed
the formless flame that fills and sustains all things:
Life, and the giver of life.
That flame which passes on, from body to body
From life to life;
The flame is eternal, it encompasses all the cosmos
And holds it all together,
a matrix-web of glittering sacred fire-
Ever burning, never exhausted.’
The shaft of wheat shines forth
The quiet words of the angel continue;
‘This emblem of the sacred mystery of the Lady of Flame,
She of Eleusis
Reveals the fruit of your Will
The manifestation of Will
and the focused power of manifestation upon the Earth
As grain ripening, here, now, feeding all who hunger
The ephemeral Will manifests in miraculous
yet substantive ways.
Alone is the flame
But sown in the form of grain, it is rooted in All!
In silence is the center now cloaked in black-
and I, the angel of pure light
Hide my glory to reveal this single flame
Permeating all
For all else is illusion.
All else is veiled.
My form matters not,
Only the flame which I guard and Offer
to Those Who Remain Silent.
With this Rune
All who consecrate the flame
Must offer the sacred fire to all the World
as Works!
A Will and Wonder of spirited illuminating and nourishment
For the flame alone is not the manifestation of life-
it is the root of Earth and so must grow on Earth
As the fire of the Sun is distilled
into a single grain of wheat.


-Aion131- In the temple of D&K1/18/17
Saturday, January 14th, 2017
6:23 pm


Everyone is dancing, dancing
Madly, wildly, ecstatically, insanely
The glowing waves of wild energy vibrate outwards,
Everyone shifts into a drop in the cosmic milky ocean of bliss
Ripple ripple, changing colors, echoes embrace all
Everyone a tuning fork, all vibrating as they are vibrated
And the vibration so grows and grows and a tune of bliss-union emerges
Touching, Dancing, Playing; laughing, drinking, smoking, writhing in joy and bliss
Sweating, hallucinating, howling, chanting ridden by the Wild God and Red Goddess
Stomping, leaping, spinning, rocking, rolling, eyes flashing, arms and legs akimbo
Dancing solo, dancing in couples, dancing in clusters
about the fire and smoke and offerings and intoxicants and food and fresh water
In the shadows they are fucking and sucking, flinging intoxication and colors in spirals
Chanting, drumming, banging bells and all manner of instruments!
Playing pipes, mad flutes, cymbals and rattles and all things sounding strange
Invoking, shouting, singing, chanting, speaking in ancient tongues
and uttering barbarous words of frost and flame, of lightning and soft kisses
And words of prayer and love and ecstasy and channeled words of future, fate, omens
And the Great Lord of the Wildness leaps down from his mountain top,
He leaps out of his cave, his deep-wood grotto, his waterfall
He leaps as the wolf, the bear, the elephant, the monkey, the stag and so many others,
 he always leaps forth Laughing!
And the Earth mother, birthed in blood and spring water,
Arising amongst fruits and grain and the endless green of life arises from the crevices and the springs, from wells and fresh hoed fields, from the berry brambles and wild yam fields and from every tree and flower and from the falling star
and she is always singing with joy as she joins her ever shifting animal-lord
As the shimmering full moon flows through her sacred dancing mudra-hands
She sprinkles glowing sparks of life into every celebrant
igniting the fire in their loins, heart and blazing 3rd eyes
and the all laugh and sing and DANCE!
And HE leaps through the twisting Dhuni fire and touches everyone and everything and the numinous circle of all and the madness and joy spread out out out
until all become one circle of jewels, one mandala of spiral life unfolding:
One pillar of ecstasy fire!
And this is the most primal religion of all and the one oft forgotten-
Its rituals are painted in the most ancient caves and on the walls of pre-historic walls
and woven into sacred cloth wrapping the dead and knotted into strands of hemp and passed on in many ways from elder to child to elder to child to shaman to priestess to sacred idols and animal spirits in the songs and whispers and words of power that lie under every stone and within every tree and flow in every stream.
The Wild Way lies embedded in the sacred standing stones, in the ageless ice temples and caves and deep-forest shrines, on mountain tops, in deep ravines, on remote islands and in ever pounding naked foot and in every drop of blood and in the song filling every wild soul
But mostly the lineage-wisdom of Wildness comes from the primeval forest roots, the wild mountain streams, the forgotten, hidden, wild places and from all the animal spirits and animal brothers and sisters who are the collective voice and mind of the Great Wild one of Horns and Fur and of the Great Mountain Mother who was before the beginning and will be after the end and their mating is the big bang and the beat of every drum as is the sex of every being and the cry of every bird and the howl of every beast
and the innate wisdom of every plant, rock, river, stone- the heart of every fire.
And all things are sacred in the Wildness and every religion has abandoned the Wildness and every book, law, stricture, tradition, rule smothers the Wildness for it is before and beyond all these things and the Wildness calls to us, is in out blood and always finds a way to seep through the cracks of civilization like the sprouting weed,
the silent stalking coyote, the nesting wren, the howling winds and rain and thunder.
And The Horned Lord is the Lord of the Dance and he dances with humans and animals, yes, but also with werewolves and elementals and yakshis and ganas and nagas, demons and ogres and all wild things and the risen dead and vampires and birds and living plants and rocks and all dance dance dance to the Wildness and there is no conflict or fear for the Wildness proclaims an end to FEAR and HATE and DIVISION and AVERSION and ATTACHMENT for it calls on the Wildness inherent in all things to arise arise arise like a tsunami and wash away civilized skins, me-me-me egos,
fears and worries and attachments, out out out!
Until only the ecstasy of the dance, the trance, the inner hum, the fire and the full moon fill and free us to dance with the divine intoxication, unleash the divine power, devour the divine, fuck and be fucked by the divine, and so BECOME divine
until there is NO DIFFERENCE and this is the end to prayer for this is the becoming of bliss that is before and after prayer –
For there is no longer need for prayer when bliss subsumes all, all, all!
This is the primal way and magick of Lord Shiva, Pashupati Deva, Lord of beasts and supreme and primal Lord of Wildness.
This is the temple of Shakti Ma, VamaDurga Devi, dangerous delightful Woman of the primal forest, of the red birthing and dying, of all life and death and the dance of bliss.
This is the first and last ‘religion.’ This is the cult of ecstasy of bliss, of union
This is the secret Tantra, Scripture, Veda, Dogma, Ritual that can never be written,
For it is inscribed on the ocean waves, on the ripples in the rivers, on the glaciers and peaks of the mountains, in the patterns of bark and brance, of needle and leaf in the forests, in the holy text of DNA and the ever shifting hieroglyphs of blood and on the ephemeral full-moonlight of the Wolf Moon which fills and intoxicates us all!
And the sacred Wildness reaches out when we enter the Wild Path naked, unafraid, embracing our being and with furry hands and shadow smiles and tapping hooves and paws leads us gently in the dance of ecstasy which is now and forever and beyond both
Leading us in the spiral spiral spiral to the direct experience of bliss-samadhi-gnosis.
To become god, dance with god, madly intoxicate yourself with god until you are one thing and they leave words and become no-thing and so have forgotten the difference in the endless clear pool of ecstasy.
This is the Wildness at the root of all our rituals, this is the Wildness we often forget, This is the Wildness that cannot be written or spoken of nor analyzed or discussed. This is the hidden wisdom of the beating heart, the intoxicated bliss state of being, the dance of Lila, of the galaxies, of the Divine Eternal Bliss that is the origin of all.
And every vision, omen, gnosis wisdom, intuition, blessing whispers this -
Embrace. The. Wildness.

-Wolf Moon- 1/2017
Friday, January 6th, 2017
3:48 pm


The work of spiritual and psychological awakening and growth is the Individuation of the Self; The evolving core essence-consciousness commonly called the ‘higher Self.’ Call it the unfolding Atman, the Spark of Indwelling Gnosis, the Soul or the Guardian Spirit, it is the first serious magickal and mystical step towards wholly embracing your Genius or True Will.
There is, of course, an equally important and yet less savory process that must be done IN TANDEM with the Individuation of the Self, that is the embrace and Integration of the Shadow.
The whole devil/angel dynamic or dialectic is rather stale and trite, but the analogy is useful and applicable without being dogma.
As we work towards opening the Jewel in the Center of the Lotus, we must also enter the dark tunnels below the Earth, below the Tree of Life, and accept, embrace and reconcile the negative or atavistic parts of our spiritual and unconscious mind. All we have repressed, all the dark and uncivilized thoughts and feelings, all the ‘dragon mind’ lower cortex primate and reptilian reflexes, instincts, violent and antisocial aspects of our Id and our pure animal being are all a crucial, powerful and useful part of us.
Polite society reviles, exorcises and vilifies the Shadow, often persecuting anything smacking of the primal or animalistic while, with inquisitions and pograms, persecutions and proscriptions, they demonstrate the real power and evil of suppressing the Shadow. Their violence and hate a clear object lesson.
Our Shadow, our Daemon, our horned and hooved imp of an Id, our Monster, makes us whole, makes us able to survive, gives us the psychic durability and power and intensity, toughness and instincts to recover from loss and attack and defend our physical self and psyches from the onslaught of a dangerous world and from the enslavement by others who ride and live FOR their Monster.
Here’s the thing. Those of us on the Initiatory path, know the following:
Once we step on this path, we can’t leave it without great peril, for it is more a tightrope than a path and it is really two tightropes, one leading up and the other leading down and we must, like every Hero, descend into the underworld to then journey upward, like every shaman, into the heavenly sphere of bliss to unite with our Self-Star. Full individuation, full initiatory illumination, means accepting and embracing your higher being as well as your monster. One can not be only Yang or Yin, we must attain both and then move beyond. Every Guru or Preacher or Cult that has insisted on purity and white-light only focus has collapsed horribly as the suppressed Shadow eventually, like all suppressed primal urges, erupts.
The goal, as alchemy shows us, is the transmutation therough the union of seeming opposites which are really two parts of one being, us.  Two become one, the instincts and eroto-primate-darkness energizes helps the light and positivity of Self survive, prosper, extend the Gnosis out into the life and never lose touch of our wonderful, crazy-making sexy-wild animal selves without which we would miss much of the joy of life. It would be awkward to be a Party Angel, but it is, in many ecstatic ritual situations, holy or mundane, a lot of illuminating fun to be a ‘Party Animal.’ As long as Self centers and integrates Shadow, all is awesome. But this means confronting our fears, fixations, neuroses and so on.
Much of what makes us human is tinged with the Shadow, and this in no way detracts from spiritual evolution or advancement, in fact it anchors the ethereal ‘white light’ in the much and mud of the fertile Earth, the dirty, difficult business of living and mating and cohabitating with other humans in an imperfect and trying daily life. It is the animal-shadow-monster that cuts loose, goes wild, gets a bit out of control; It is the Self that keeps the wildness and the chaos focused on the positive and not the cruel or selfish, but only when one had fully accepted and embraced the Monster and all those parts of your Darkness that you hate or fear or which disgust you. You must Love Yourself, this is the great comment, and it must be ALL of you, not just the things that are easy to love.
In this initiatory practice, I offer the Monster Tropes as archetypal models of identifying and working with your Shadow! Such tropes, like Rorschach Blot tests, offer a funny way to obliquely approach your Monster- have a laugh, think about it. Like so many silly ‘quizzes’ in social media, take this Monster quiz- you might vibe with more than one!

Lets look at a few Monsters that often or sometimes might be how our Monster might appear to us. Yes, it is surreal, yet our collective unconsciousness mind has offered all these wonderful, widely accepted Masks of the Shadow for us to relate to and fear and eventually accept, let’s play with them! Here are some fre-form associations for each Monster, add your own as you like, everyone relates to each Monster differently.

Werewolf!  A monster of instinctual intensity, a predator, exuding wildness, heightened senses, protection, hunting, intense loyalty, primal passions and ferocity! Deeply connected with lunar energy.
Vampire! Clinging to life, fear of death, the unnatural, stasis, immortality the desire to steal life, energy, emotions, blood. Mystery of nocturnal love and seductive enslavement and darkness.
The Mummy! Pain of restriction, claustrophobia, excessive guilt, suppression, unrequited or unreal fixation-love, the Monster of loss, of misanthropy, of being in the wrong era. Cursed, bound, reborn in perpetuity through eternity.
Frankenstein! The monster of many warring pieces, the incoherence of chaos, the enslaved body-consciousness with no logic, the purely reactive emotional chaos, finding your creator unworthy, living horror that is not alive nor dead, the unconscious misuse of strength and the horror of being rejected over and over
The Creature of the Black Lagoon! The Reptilian mind, the cold-hearted condemnation of all others, the introvert swimming in the amniotic fluid of the unconscious, function of instinct over thinking, water-emotions- feelings over consciousness, rage against a paradise defiled.
The Invisible Man! Madness, instability, the excessive narcissism of I Know All, the disregard of the body for ideals, the fixation on the expectations of what others should do, the deep inferiority of one who feels insignificant, unseen, invisible. The alchemist gone bad, scientific experiments gone wrong.
The Zombie! Death run amok! Will-less, loss of volition, motivation, caring, sense of self-, the amoeba-like urge to simply mindlessly devour, mindless shambling, ever, inevitable Death, will, no point, no connection with others- the ultimate numb Zanax Monster!
All Evil Aliens! The unknown, the source of Paranoia, the strange, freakish, controlling darkness, subjugation of will, manipulating, sadistic, enslaving shadow from Out of Space.
Cthulhu and his ilk: Sexual fear,, horror, repulsion! Nasty Kinky sex! Restrictive or feared straight, bi, gay, trans, crazy, violent, vanilla, and or s&m sex! Whatever freaks you out sexually, embarrasses you, incites guilt! The sleeping, percolating sludge of the subconscious, the libido gone all sluggy.

I could go on, but who can beat kinky, weird, socially unacceptable freakish sex?

There are many other Monster Tropes out there, a lot like the Evil Ghost, The Slasher, Kong, Godzilla and on and on.

There is no shortage of monsters!
Which Monster Mask are we working to work through today?
How can we accept, embrace, integrate and sublimate our Monster?
How can our Shadow help, serve and empower our Self?
That is the great journey of the Hero, the descent into the Unconsciousness Darkness of the Underworld, the discovery, challenge and integration of the Shadow Monster, the Minotaur in the Labyrinth, and the accomplishing of the Quest for Self and the alchemical wedding leading to a new bliss-centered life as a Whole Being who is guided by the Self but strengthened and empowered and protected by the integrated Shadow.

Happy Trails!

33. I reveal unto you a great mystery. Ye stand between the abyss of height and the abyss of depth.
34. In either awaits you a Companion; and that Companion is Yourself.
35. Ye can have no other Companion.
36. Many have arisen, being wise. They have said "Seek out the glittering Image in the place ever golden, and unite yourselves with It."
37. Many have arisen, being foolish. They have said, "Stoop down unto the darkly splendid world, and be wedded to that Blind Creature of the Slime."
38. I who am beyond Wisdom and Folly, arise and say unto you: achieve both weddings! Unite yourselves with both!
39. Beware, beware, I say, lest ye seek after the one and lose the other!”                         
-Liber Tzaddi
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