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| Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 | | 12:59 am |
MC Happiness
Om Why do I, a Pagan, Thelemite, Tantrik nut job love Buddhism so much? Well, aside from the no god and let's-wake-up thing, it is its....adaptability; | | Monday, February 8th, 2010 | | 9:50 pm |
Sad Tao
Om Mr. Carey died last night- Im pretty bummed out. He had lived a good life, he was 89, it was coming- but still I cry. He is gon and I know karma wise it is to a light of his choosing- but I grieve for my childhood home, shelter from a plastic upbringing and cold parents- he gave a a decent male role model when I needed it- as I am now in the parental place, I see how very ver special that is- how great the merit to help someone grow- Soon my lovely Brooklyn escape will fade away- all fades away- death comes for all- so I allow myself to be sad, to be depressed- depressed for my poor son, for the poor people of Haiti, for the suffering and unemployed and the suffering everywhere- my friends on Chemo for cancer, my students I just graduated who have no jobs waiting for them- so much. So tonight I am sad. So I painted a wall yellow. The big wall in my living room. Wild. Talk about your practical magick. I did some clay- Im throwing Loa jugs and carving veves on them- tonight I made 4 large veve stamps as well- I will do a tree of life of Loa...who knows why And I pulled a Tao: 70 My teachings are easy to understand and easy to put into practice. Yet your intellect will never grasp them, and if you try to practice them, you'll fail. My teachings are older than the world. How can you grasp their meaning? If you want to know me, look inside your heart. This sums up my feelings- all is rather pointless and fruitless and hopeless- but that is my mind The part of me that doesnt type or paint or carve- -- I think one needs to accept that ther is no door- then there it is. As Robert reminded me, the Buddha had a teaching on this "The world is a burning house, get out." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNnAvTTaJjM | | 12:00 am |
RIP Honorable Judge Robert Carey
Om His Ka left, but just now his Ba has finally ceased to live. There are only feelings of gratitude, some tears, and a wish that this great and good man have PEACE Shanti | | Sunday, February 7th, 2010 | | 4:13 pm |
SKATING & IMBOLC RPM LESSON
SKATING & IMBOLC RPM LESSON 2/7/10 Forrest’s Letter Boarding in BOLD, other is Dad: (we just got back from the school yard across the street where Forrest tried out his new in-line skates- they worked well- he hadnt been skating for several years) Did you enjoy skating on your new skates? IT WAS GREAT How come you quit after only 2 laps? I WAS TIRED Do you like these new skates? YES Why? THEY ARE NOT UNCOMFORTABLE So they are more comfortable than the last ones? YES Great. Are you scared at all skating? It has been a long time. I AM NOT AFRAID OR SCARED. Great! What does it feel like to skate? IT FEELS LIKE IM FLYING So you like that? YES IT IS GREAT! Do you want to take the skates back to Fircrest? Do you want to skate there? YES I WANT TO SKATE THERE OK, we will do that, but you need to tell them when you want to skate, OK YES IMBOLC OK, do you see this? What is it? A CANDLE Right, a new candle, and it smells nice (we smell- green, lemon verbena) Look at the wheel of festivals. Our last festival was YULE, this one is OIMLEC or IMBOLC it is also called CANDLEMAS- why do you thing that is? BECAUSE IT IS A FESTIVAL OF LIGHT Very good. So you remember that the sun begins to increase after Yule, so what do you think this festival is about? BECAUSE IT HAS MORE LIGHT Right! So are the days getting longer or shorter now? DAYS ARE GETTING LONGER Very good. Do you know what ‘represent’ means? I KNOW What does the candle represent in this festival? THE SUN Yes! So, see this little pointed stick? We are going to write something on the candle before we burn it in our ritual. What do you think we will write? WISHES Yes, exactly. OK, so what wish do you want to write? I WISH TO GET BETTER OK, (hand-over-hand we scribe this on the candle) Great! Now, what do you think I should wish for? (Pause- one false start- then;) YOU WISH FOR A HAPPY LIFE Ok! Ill do that ( I scribe this on the candle) What should mom wish for? A CAKE (laughing) OK! Mom scribes this- and maybe something more ☺ Shall we go do this Festival now? YES (There was a bit more about Brigid, but that is the gist. Then we went up to our wooded circle and had a sweet little ritual with tangerines, pine incense, a bud on a branch, some tea and the ‘GRIMOIRE FOR THE APPRENTICE WIZARD’ by Oberon Zell which I have been using to teach Paganism and Magick to Forrest- it is a great little handbook! http://www.amazon.com/Grimoire-Apprentice-Wizard-Oberon-Zell-Ravenheart/dp/1564147118We invoked Pan for the circle then used the short Brigid verse in the book and lit the candle and offered all energies to all beings and then offerings to the earth. So mote it be!   | | Saturday, February 6th, 2010 | | 11:13 pm |
Short part of a much longer conversation I had with Forrest on 2/6/10
A Short part of a much longer conversation I had with Forrest on 2/6/10 All BOLD is Forrest communicating via letter board, the rest is me (Dad) -------- Forrest, remember we had a meeting at Fircrest on Thursday, what did you think of that? IT WAS STRESSFUL Why do you say that? BECAUSE WE TALKED ABOUT ME Yes, but you are doing so well, isn’t that good? YES And remember when you asked Dr. Fine ‘What can I do to get better?’ remember what she said? I AM GETTING BETTER Yes. What did you think of the other man who was there? HE IS STUPID Why do you say that? BECAUSE HE THINKS I CAN NOT WRITE Well, you know you can write, right? YES (Then we review his pictures from when we went riding a horse at a friend’s farm, here are a few comments about pictures- his pictures- the best of- can be found here: ) Where did we take these pictures? AT KARENS AND ROBERTS FARM What do you think of that one? (barn & horse) IT IS PEACEFUL Did you enjoy it? IT WAS VERY EXCITING Who is that? ROBERT What do you think of him? HE IS VERY QUIET But you are not so quiet! I AM VERY NOISY But that is fine, I like you the way you are. Do you like that picture? YES Why BECAUSE IT IS NICE Yes, I agree. Notice the red barn and the green trees. Remember what we call that in a picture? CONTRAST Yes! Where did we go today? THE BEACH And we took pictures, which one was your favorite? THE MOUNTAINS Yes, the Olympics looked great today… What else did we do today? WE SENT A PICTURE Who did we send it to? KAT AND TERRY (this was correct and even I did not remember their names) What did we do with the picture before we sent it? WE FRAMED IT Why did we send them the picture? BECAUSE THEY SENT US MONEY Yes, you sold a picture! How do you dfeel? I AM PROUD Yes, you should be! OK, so it cost us 11.00 for the postage, 4.00 for the frame and a little $ for the paper and ink to print. We call that ‘expenses’ what was the money left over after we paid that called. PROFIT That is right! What did we do with your profit? I BOUGHT A DVD What did you buy? MEATBALLS (Cloudy with a chance of meatballs) Why? BECAUSE I SAW IT AND IT IS FUNNY (we had seen it together last weekend)  | | Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 | | 11:43 pm |
Honorable Robert Carey RIP
Judge Robert Carey, a gentleman and a scholar, passed away tonight at the age of 89 (I believe) Bob Carey was a father to me, and I am not alone in this. He was a patient and an irascible host to everything from teen covens to double current blow outs and he mentored all us unhinged occult weirdos who had the good luck (and grace) to end up seeking shelter and nurturing under his Brooklyn Heights roof. Thank you Robert and Merrill (+ Nancy!) for being brother & sisters to me and I am with you in grief. Bob died at a lovely restaurant, with a cocktail and a steak. It was sudden and total- it was a Kingly death- may we all be so lucky May Tara ease his transition, may Nuit accept him in her embrace, may the Christos that he embraced bring him peace and may all of us offer prayers of gratitude that this decent man touched us and was our friend. May we all strive to be so kind. Love carries on- Peace out Bob Shanti  | | Monday, February 1st, 2010 | | 6:10 pm |
Big Boy's Birthday!
Forrest is 19 now- holy fucking shit, Im old! B-day was on a full moon- last Sat. we had a blast thank to our friends Karen & Robert who offered us use of their farm and a horse- yeal we love you! Forrest had asked very nicely if he could ride a horse for his BDay during an RPM session so off we went- The lovely Sophia bought a ton of chinese and other food and a huge icecream cake (Forrest had specifically requested this) and we had a FEAST and celebrated both Forrest's B Day as well as Robert's soon-to-be B Day. Merriment ensued and Forrest, who hasnt been on a horse for 10 years, was a total champ. What we thought was going too be a short ride was over an hour and Dad got to walk every ince leading the horse. I am tuckered. Some of the presents he got were- A lovely wooden box from his aunt Renee and Richenda & cousins etc A mini tripod from amy coworker Treena A ton of DVDs and algebra books (hey, I know, he wanted them! He loves it! Not my DNA....) New inline scates, a handle for his camera (to help him hold it) and a bunch of cool clothes... We did 2 more ice cream cakes BTW- he got one at school on Fri for a B Day there and we had a little one here as well- He is, like I am, in recovery Im sure... Below is the note he 'wrote' with letterboard to Karen and a pic of Cowboy Forrest- one funny note: Id forgotten to bring the letterboard with us to Karen's (DOH!) and she produced a Ouiji board....which worked just fine! It took him awhile to find the letters but it was kinda cool...   | | 5:52 pm |
Ta da Tao
Om I had a great Tao chapter last night as my omen....but I was SO very tired that it slipped away after giving me a tweak of something Last night I had a dream- I was with a wild tribe of feral types- we was all a bit shaggy and partying- it ended with a joy ride in like a studanbaker or old Hudson and some thrill of the road elicited whoops and sprouting fangs- I woke up smiling... Saw a very fun flic with my son- got it for him for his B Day Saturday (more on that later)- it is very weird and terribly dark for a kids animation- loved it & laughed a lot: IGOR OK! And the Omen of the day is- 44 Fame or integrity: which is more important? Money or happiness: which is more valuable? Success of failure: which is more destructive? If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. Takeaway- Looks are deceiving emotional attachments are a chain NEEDS and WANTS are different- and the line between them is the abyss... Tat tvam Asi seriously Endless searching is boring and futile and hard on the adrenals... Have fun. | | 11:13 am |
MythOs.....
Some people are just Ill. Others are toxic. Then there are those seeking to corrupt the fabric of space and time with the pernicious cosmic evil of the great old ones....and now they have....a breakfest cerial. Does that make them cereal killers??!! http://www.cthulhulives.org/toybox/MythOs.html | | Saturday, January 30th, 2010 | | 10:22 pm |
NY NY NY....NYC
I love NYC It is a deep and abiding addiction even though Im a true Seattleite and have been in the NW 30+ yrs...still- The Big Whore got me young in so many ways... There is no city better and no city like her- and I recently got turned onto this JZ video below; ANNNNNNNNND the taotoday is: 9 Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity. Takeaway- Wow, the Taoist secret of weight loss- who knew? Stop BEFORE you are full Stop shopping BEFORE the closets are full (no need for a storage unit!) Chill- Multitask = burnt out Give a shit about what others think about you and you will be lost. Just do it. Then kick back. (The Dude abides ?!) | | Friday, January 29th, 2010 | | 8:40 pm |
ToTaoDay
28 Know the male, yet keep to the female: receive the world in your arms. If you receive the world, the Tao will never leave you and you will be like a little child. Know the white, yet keep to the black: be a pattern for the world. If you are a pattern for the world, the Tao will be strong inside you and there will be nothing you can't do. Know the personal, yet keep to the impersonal: accept the world as it is. If you accept the world, the Tao will be luminous inside you and you will return to your primal self. The world is formed from the void, like utensils from a block of wood. The Master knows the utensils, yet keeps to the the block: thus she can use all things. | | 8:35 pm |
KETHER IS MALKUTH AND MALKUTH IS KETHER
Om Today I am in the process of letting the dust settle from moving to Kether in the focus of my 11* /general magickal work Here is my daily practice: As usual I offer Smoke to Shiva.... I offer incense to Ganesh To remove all obstacles I offer incense to Tara To heal our son-family-friends-all we know- all on earth (special shout-out to Haiti) - all beings in the universe; Health wealth prosperity & liberation to all beings- En To Play! I find Sothis or the direction of it in the sky It often is close to a huge spruce in my skyline so...that then...there that image is again- in every culture it seems- the Star in - the TREE I chant OM 108x I create the vortex and draw down Kether Light / slowly turn 360* clockwise. Finish chanting & visualization & dance/mudras/Postures When done circle back widdershins- Haaaaaaaaaa Return energy and honor Sothis Then Earth it all- - bend and touch the earth with crystal mall, crack back etc. Heal the Earth Rebirth 3x Om Shanti Shiva Shakti x3 Etc. Then I randomly pick one verse from the Tao The Ching and comment on it in my Live Journal. http://aion131.livejournal.com/Just thought Id share- and it is concretizing to type it. OM Visual image that descended tonight: My Work is a big Christmas Tree... Hahaha. Kether is the star.... I guess the gifts under the tree are all the toys that Sothis is gently depositing in our gene pool.... ID LIKE TO HEAR... What other daily (or whatever) magick practices are evolving here... 131  | | Thursday, January 28th, 2010 | | 11:04 pm |
tao2day
7 The Tao is infinite, eternal. Why is it eternal? It was never born; thus it can never die. Why is it infinite? It has no desires for itself; thus it is present for all beings. The Master stays behind; that is why she is ahead. She is detached from all things; that is why she is one with them. Because she has let go of herself, she is perfectly fulfilled. Takeaway- Tao is darkmatter,,,maybe It shadows/underlies/is source of/all but is not A perfect icon. a perfect simile, a percect concept It is a non-able-to-be-written word a sigil not drawn Laughed at the moon tonight- got it a bit Shut the fuck up Meditate Dont go pushing or defending your POV Let go- do what you are compelled to do Do this right, and you got True Will down cold snap. | | 10:58 pm |
The 23rd Path (Atu)
 Image & words by Nema- It has been an ongoing discussion on HML list so I thought Id post... The 23rd Path idea came from Liber PP, right after 'the giving of the Word' toward the end: "IPSOS` `What is this Word, O Lady - how may it be used?'' ``In silent wisdom, King and Warrior-Priest. Let the deed shine forth and let the word be hidden; the deed is lamp enough to veil the face. (re: the Hermit trump with a few tips on attaining, or maintaining, invisibility.) ``It is the word of the twenty-third path, whose number is fifty and six. It is the unspoken Abode, wherein the Dance of the Mask is taught by Me. Tahuti watches without the Ape; I am the Vulture also. (There are only 22 paths in traditional QBL; I've always taken this paragraph as both an endorsement of using Daath and of embracing contradictions.) ``It is the Chalice of Air and Wand of Water, the Sword of Earth and Pantacle of Fire. It is the hourglass and tail- biting serpent. It is the Ganges becoming Ocean, the Way of the Eternal Child. (More descriptions of IPSOS, including IPSOS = Tao) ``It names the Source of Mine Own Being - and yours. It is the origin of this sending, that channels through Andromeda and Set. What race of gods do speak to Man, O Willed Ones? The word of them is both the Name and the Fact." (Yes, Set = Sirius. Basically, we're talking to Ourself. The "race of gods" is a sarcastic, but true, description of our genus. Even high-octane channelling can be snarky in spots.) Hope this helps. Nema | | Tuesday, January 26th, 2010 | | 11:55 pm |
....and today's Tao Forecast...
54 Whoever is planted in the Tao will not be rooted up. Whoever embraces the Tao will not slip away. Her name will be held in honor from generation to generation. Let the Tao be present in your life and you will become genuine. Let it be present in your family and your family will flourish. Let it be present in your country and your country will be an example to all countries in the world. Let it be present in the universe and the universe will sing. How do I know this is true? By looking inside myself. Takeaway- The Tao is the Tree of Life It is the Genetic code The mystery of mysteries in the core of our genes and beyond- in the DNA of all Touching the infinite web of life is to be come it in the family, this consciousness brings shanti in the workplace the world every day everything sparkles All particles move and gleem The only rooted thing is all of it  | | Monday, January 25th, 2010 | | 8:51 pm |
Fighting for the rights of Autistic People
This is the speech my wife made in the capitol rotunda last week-she had a mic and hundreds of listeners- good for her: OUR STORY Our son is at Fircrest, an RHC. Our son’s life was literally saved by Fircrest. Our story is one you should listen to, because there are thousands of people like our son who are entering the system and many of them will need the services that the RHCs offer which cannot be met ‘in the community’. A year ago our son, Forrest, was 18 years old and 6’2” we were getting attacked more and more as were his teachers and group home staff. He was scratching and biting intensely. He sent 3 people to the emergency room. Everyone agreed that this was a medication issue. He had been hospitalized at Children’s Hospital two times and he got a psychiatrist. He got more new medications. He got worse. No one really knew what to do. Children’s Hospital, his neurologist and his psychiatrist recommended that he go to Fircrest for observation and med change. This was denied to us as an option. Things escalated. His group home had him arrested. He was strapped to a board and hauled to Harborview. He was refused admittance to Children’s and Harborview. Everyone wanted to send him to Fircrest but this was denied. He was sent to a hospital filled with homeless adults. They asked us: Why wasn’t he sent to Fircrest? Good question. He was drugged with more medications and left in an unheated padded cell to sit in his own feces and urine. We were there. Finally, after much pressure, DSHS admitted Forrest to Fircrest. Within a month, with new medication and behavioral intervention, he was lucid and improving. The Fircrest doctors and staff took him off most of the meds he was on and started over. They understood severe autism and knew what to do. Within six months he was completely non-violent at home and we have now him every weekend. He is speaking more and making amazing progress. Soon he will be able to live in the community without harming himself or others If Fircrest is closed, there will be NO WHERE people like my son can go to get appropriate help. They just go to jail. RHCs are a critical part of our mental health safety net. No one should be sent to jail because of Autism, yet many are. Autism is an epidemic. Many more like my son are coming. Closing places that can deal with this looming crisis is absurd and it will cost much more in the long run. Closing down Fircrest will not get rid of severe autism. A compromise plan is possible but it is clear- the RHCS are needed. The RHC feasibility study recommends that the state provide crisis beds at the RHCs for clients like Forrest. These can be staffed with on-call staff. Several creative and positive solutions can be found! SIMPLY CLOSING THE RHCs WILL HARM WASHINGTON FINANCIALLY, LEGALLY AND ETHICALLY AND WILL DEVESTATE SEVERELY AUTISTIC CITIZENS AND THEIR FAMILIES  | | 8:46 pm |
Shiva & Sirius- pt 1?
Om For many years (decades actually) I have known that there is a deep Sirius/Shiva connection- one very interesting murti (image) of Shiva shows him with a Black Dog- that dog is clearly identified as Sirius. So, of course, this year's 11* being what it is, I am really digging a bit more on this- and I found this very cool website: http://blackdogstar.blogspot.com/2009/05/star-of-shiva.htmlI am especially interested in the Shiva, Murgan and (! Bonus!) Taoist references to Sirius. Hi ho Lots of cool stuff Check out the Tantric poetry, especially (down a bit) ANTELOPE & HOUND http://janhaag.com/POSiva.htmlShiva as Sirius is Rudra or, more specifically, Mrgavyadha Bit more According to Monier-Williams, the dog star was known among Hindus as Lubdhaka and Mrgavyadha both meaning "hunter" and referring to the god Siva or Rudra. Site- a decent blog on Sirius- http://www.assatashakur.org/forum/spirituality-connect-your-center/15817-dog-star-sirius.htmlAND Hathor- oh, too fun... A similar association is depicted at the Temple of Hathor in Dendera, where the goddess Satet has drawn her arrow at Hathor (Sirius). Known as 'Tir,' the star was portrayed as the arrow itself in later Persian culture.[98] - wiki  | | 8:10 pm |
tao to day
Have drawn, read & absorbed one or 2 without posting them- ah well! hahaha Here is today's 20 Stop thinking, and end your problems. What difference between yes and no? What difference between success and failure? Must you value what others value, avoid what others avoid? How ridiculous! Other people are excited, as though they were at a parade. I alone don't care, I alone am expressionless, like an infant before it can smile. Other people have what they need; I alone possess nothing. I alone drift about, like someone without a home. I am like an idiot, my mind is so empty. Other people are bright; I alone am dark. Other people are sharper; I alone am dull. Other people have a purpose; I alone don't know. I drift like a wave on the ocean, I blow as aimless as the wind. I am different from ordinary people. I drink from the Great Mother's breasts. Takeaway- Whoa, is this obvious or what? Can it really be that simple- hm- yea, it is. AOS says is very succinctly- Does not matter- need not be. Fear neither men nor gods...right? Happy/sad/happy/sad- when I-pause- i am beyond these polarities where we bounce between- like lightening static or otherwise. No one has anything, no one even IS anything- so it is all a carnival. The best view of the Carnival is to sit and watch. And remember- it ALL comes from the Goddess....there is no difference.... I realized tonight in meditation that the sigil upon the Trident of Shiva is the Open Eye of Sirius...ho HO! Om  | | Friday, January 22nd, 2010 | | 9:52 pm |
To become Kether I must consume all the spheres
To become Kether I must consume all the spheres ALL into ONE I shall worry about the NONE later… Can I reconcile the spheres with the 12 astro signs? Can I have a monthly feast of a Fruit of the Tree? I am hungry, it is True. Also there is this: The Stars told me the secret of transmigration of souls- They model it In every mythology there is the Stone of the Wise, the Jewel in the Lotus, The Pearl enwrapped by The Dragon, the Winged Globe…. One builds up one’s Star At the passing one transfers to the pure star form (The Diamond….vajra….) And so then disgards the BA or shell/ Flesh & Etheric body In the Star Form one can stabilize and make Choices The gosa are quite right: Every Man and Every Woman is a Star Reverting to this aspect one can invest it with the Awareness that does not die Ah, but it all takes work. The Stars show us…they tell us the mysteries that are oldest Om Todays Tao: 31 Weapons are the tools of violence; all decent men detest them. Weapons are the tools of fear; a decent man will avoid them except in the direst necessity and, if compelled, will use them only with the utmost restraint. Peace is his highest value. If the peace has been shattered, how can he be content? His enemies are not demons, but human beings like himself. He doesn't wish them personal harm. Nor does he rejoice in victory. How could he rejoice in victory and delight in the slaughter of men? He enters a battle gravely, with sorrow and with great compassion, as if he were attending a funeral. Takeaway- Ive flipped off a few drivers today- all hyped up from a very busy teaching week- a full on all-day headache yesterday Hm Time to slow it down a bit and Remember the hell of angry people The satisfaction of righteous rage is equal to heroin or sugar…pernicious, endemic to our macho culture and goaded by the blood we are shedding now- USA is infected with blood and rage- One hopes the Big Baby will get over the tantrum  | | Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 | | 11:01 pm |
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